Memo distribution: New rules!

lobsta1 · Post by **lobsta1** » Tue Oct 28, 2008 6:00 pm

Read both, take your choice! Al Read both! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama is officially elected into office, our tree firm will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness: 1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will serve to give those of you who are underachieving a "fair shake." 2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst yourselves. This will help those who are "too busy for overtime" to reap the rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours. 3. All top management will now be referred to as "the government." We will not participate in this "pooling" experience because the law doesn't apply to us. 4. The "government" will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging it's workers to continue to work hard "for the good of all." 5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it's "good to spread the wealth." Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more "patriotic." 6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. Don't feel bad, though, because President Obama will give you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even if you can't pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?) !!! If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies, you may want to rethink your vote on November 4th. ********************************************************************************************* ********************************************************************************************* As of November 5, 2008, when President McSame is officially elected into office, our tree firm will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness: 1. All salespeople will be on the honor system. Lower level employees will receive pay if any money is left after sales makes their claim. Absolutely no rules will regulate these claims. 2. All low level workers will no longer have jobs since the company is going to need a bail out after the recent sales rip off debacle and nobody can figure out who to blame yet, just that the bail out will be to the highest paid. 3. All top management will now be referred to as "the government." Bribes from lobbyists who go them their jobs will determine who gets more, and tax free to boot. 4. The "government" will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging it's workers to continue to work hard "for the good of all." 5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it's "good to spread the wealth to the richest few." Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity to be jobless as they hoard the wealth and destroy the companies economy; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more "patriotic." 6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. Don't feel bad, though, because President McSame doesn't care, why should you? Hell, He doesn't even know how many houses he has. If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies, you may want to rethink your vote on November 4th.

franklyprice · Post by **franklyprice** » Tue Oct 28, 2008 8:13 pm

Good one Al

IRGuy · Post by **IRGuy** » Wed Oct 29, 2008 5:40 am

All I want to know is which administration will give me free diesel fuel for "Phoenix" if I come to work occasionally? After all.. I am semi retired!

Post by **dougl33** » Wed Oct 29, 2008 7:26 am

"All salespeople will be on the honor system. Lower level employees will receive pay if any money is left after sales makes their claim. Absolutely no rules will regulate these claims." The only problem is that it was the Dems who put the banking "reform" into place that made the bailouts necessary. It was also the Dems who thought it would be a good idea to let everyone have a mortgage (even if they couldn't repay it). Hello sub-prime crisis. Thanks Barney Frank!

IRGuy · Post by **IRGuy** » Wed Oct 29, 2008 9:01 am

I am just a humble engineer, and only took 2 economics courses in grad school, but I do recall saying to a friend in 2005... It seems to me that "subprime mortgages will have subprime repayments". Little did I know! BTW.. one of my neighbors invested a major portion of his retirement money in Fannie Mae preferred stock about 4 years ago.. now he is out about $300,000! What a country!

Rick · Post by **Rick** » Wed Oct 29, 2008 11:03 am

If you're having trouble paying your mortgage, I heard Diane Wilkerson has got some extra cash ! Rick Ticket 85 SF Merc 454 MPI's Falmouth, MA

Post by **dougl33** » Wed Oct 29, 2008 12:37 pm

quote:Originally posted by Rick If you're having trouble paying your mortgage, I heard Diane Wilkerson has got some extra cash ! Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Busted!".

Rick · Post by **Rick** » Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:03 pm

HAAA! Seasoned Jail Bait came to mind too. Rick Ticket 85 SF Merc 454 MPI's Falmouth, MA

schultz · Post by **schultz** » Wed Oct 29, 2008 3:56 pm

All good stuff. I have been trying to figure out how the goverment, & King Obama have determined that I am in the top 5% of the nation by having a joint income of over 250K. No kid,s a mortage of 170K a 5 year old pick up I paid 13K for my wife has a 2000 Lexus we paid 20K for 5 years ago. No other bills. Boats paid for. We dont have a second home and live within our means but in NO WAY can be concidered rich. I travel around the country and see all the new SUV's and McMansions in all parts of the country. What am I not getting? I am not interested in paying for everyone,s mistakes, only my own. Having lived in LA, Phily, Washington DC, Dallas to name a few, I can't belive that a 250K income is the top 5% of the country.

greysole · Post by **greysole** » Wed Oct 29, 2008 7:03 pm

If you're having trouble paying your mortgage, I heard Diane Wilkerson has got some extra cash ! Rick, the only problem with this is where you'd have to reach your hand to get it! I think I'd rather default on my mortgage.

Post by **dougl33** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 5:30 am

The scary part is that you know there are still people that will vote for her as she continues her sticker campaign. You know, because the "feds" are out to get her. Cliff, I couldn't agree more. John McCain's not perfect, but when Nobama gets in we're all screwed. We'll be one step closer to being Canada.

Rick · Post by **Rick** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:27 am

There's two messages McCain needs to get out there. 1. He's probably the most in-the-middle politician out there. Has worked with Democrats his whole life and has the voting record to prove it. Personally, I think that's one of the reasons Clinton was so successful, he also supported legislation on both sides. Yeah, raised taxes a ton, but supported both sides and got the best out of both. 2. Immigration. It's killing our country. I don't have a problem with immigrants who are just trying to survive but our economy can't support the numbers coming in. I think an article I read said that we have 11 years to make adjustments and don't get mad at immigrants, get mad at immigration. Rick Ticket 85 SF Merc 454 MPI's Falmouth, MA

inspector · Post by **inspector** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:14 pm

C'mon guys, Obama is the best hope there is for a true socialist nation. Marx would be very proud. But seriously; these guys (Obama and Biden) think they can socially engineer this great country into their own vision of utopia. Something that I thought was hilarious was when Colin Powell said that Macain was far too right wing when giving his reason for endorsing Obama. On second thought...maybe we all should be allowed to have a Bertram...make mine somewhere in the 50-60ft range. If there's someone out there who wants my old 33 they must first prove that they can't afford it.

Post by **dougl33** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:41 pm

quote:Originally posted by inspector On second thought...maybe we all should be allowed to have a Bertram...make mine somewhere in the 50-60ft range. If there's someone out there who wants my old 33 they must first prove that they can't afford it. Good one Rich![:D]